Common Sense is now Uncommon. Let us teach you Common Sense 101
Let’s see how well you'd do on the following quiz:
1. How many hours of sleep should you be getting every night? 2. How many glasses of water should you drink daily? 3. What should you do with your free time: a-browse social media, b-exercise? 4. Which of the following best describes what you should say after a waitress brings you a cocktail? a- About F’in time, b- What’s your number baby? c- Thank You! d- I’m stupid crazy horny!
I’d be willing to bet you aced that quiz. My question to the American society is, “Are you implementing these aspects of common sense?” I’d double down on that previous bet and say you aren’t. Today, I’m going to help you become a better person by teaching you common sense in all aspects of life.
Common Sense is uncommon. Learn basic common sense....
Fitness / Nutrition
You should be sleeping 7-8 hours a night.
You should be drinking 8-12 glasses of water a day.
Your diet should primarily consist of proteins, vegetables, and water.
If you’re on a diet, don’t tell anyone.
There isn't a one-size-fits-all diet. Experiment and find one that best suits you.
If you want a nice ass, Hip Thrust, Squat, and Hinge moderate to heavy weights 4x a week.
If you want nice arms, do Push-Ups and Chin-Ups 4x a week.
Sugar isn't bad, carbs aren't bad, fat isn't bad. It's about how many calories you consume. As with debt, if you consume too much, you will gain weight.
If you want to lose weight, monitor want you put into your mouth via a food log.
Hinge, Squat, Press, Pull, carry heavy things and repeat.
You should be able to push your body off the ground, and pull your body up to a bar.
If you experience pain during movement, stop doing that movement until the pain goes away.
Excess adipose (belly or thigh fat) isn’t healthy.
Unless you’re a Physical Therapist, BOSU ball are stupid.
Salt doesn't cause high blood pressure. Eating too much, not sleeping enough, stressing all day long, and not exercising does.
Eating six meals a day is not superior to eating three- IT'S ABOUT MOTHER F'ING CALORIES!
"Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived." - THOMAS PAINE, COMMON SENSE (READ IT).
When you open a door, look behind to see if someone else is coming in, and then hold the door for them while smiling.
When someone holds the door for you, say “Thank you.”
If you’re with someone and expecting an important text, email, or call, say the following, “I’m not trying to be rude, but I need to keep my phone out because I’m expecting an important text. When I get that call, I’ll reply and put my phone away.”
At a bar or dinner, if someone is celebrating a birthday or anniversary, you should send over a round of drinks or dessert.
If the trash is full, take it out.
If the dishwasher is full, unload it.
Whiskey, pizza, and bacon are amazing.
If there's a lady standing (she doesn't need to be pregnant or elderly) on public transportation, get up and offer her your seat.
When you walk by someone, you should smile and say, “Good morning, afternoon, evening.”
When someone say’s good morning, afternoon, evening, you should reciprocate.
If someone smiles at you, you should smile back.
If someone smiles at you, that doesn’t mean that want to have sex with you.
If someone texts you, you should reply when you open the text (People are on their phones 24/7.)
If someone doesn’t immediately accelerate at a stop light, wait 10-seconds. If they haven’t proceeded, gently tap your horn ONCE.
If something offends you, remove yourself from the environment.
If you see a piece of trash, on the ground, pick it up and throw it away.
Reading a book is better for you than watching TV.
Discussing a good book is better than reality TV.
If you want something, ask someone how you can help them first.
No means no. If asked, “are you upset?” and you genuinely are, don’t say, “No” and feaster a future blow up.
Mind readers don't exist, communicate.
If people are looking at you in a weird way, take a second to think about the volume of your voice.
If someone asks you how your day is, and it’s bad don’t tell them (unless it’s a significant other or close friend).
If you’re going to drink copious amounts of alcohol, eat food and drink water.
If you’re hungover from drinking copious amounts of alcohol, drink water and exercise for 30-60 minutes. Drinking depletes neurochemicals and feel good hormones; exercises offsets inner demons.
Send your parents hand-written cards on Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Saint Patty’s Day, Easter, and July 4th.
Do not talk on your phone at Starbucks. If your phone rings, step-outside and answer the call.
Send your Mother wine or flowers on Valentine’s day.
Send your Father whiskey or food on Father’s Day.
Random acts of kindness do not need to be shared on Facebook or with anyone for that matter. Do something out of the goodness of your heart. Telling other people that you volunteer or bought someone coffee is selfish.
Don’t affiliate with people you don’t like.
If you’re going to be late, inform the party that is waiting for you (Military saying, if you’re 10-minutes early, you’re 5-minutes late.)
When you’re invited to someone’s house for dinner, bring a bottle of wine, flowers, or an appetizer.
If you have dinner at someone’s house, take their plate to the kitchen and offer to do the dishes.
Smile at the barista and say, “Please” and, “Thank you.” Get off your F’in phone.
Do not wave down a barista, bar tender, or waitress- do not speak down to anyone, EVER!
If you have something negative to say, don’t say anything.
You’re 100% accountable for your life. Own up to your actions and take responsibility.
If you go out with 4 people, rotate buying rounds.
If a homeless person is asking for change, don’t snarl at their request. If you can help them, buy them coffee or food. If you cannot help them, SMILE and decline.
If someone takes time out of their schedule to help mentor you, offer to buy them drinks or dinner AND send them a THANK YOU CARD.
Don’t be a prick.
Relationships / Dating
Guys should open the truck door for their lady.
Girls should reach across the truck to open the door for their man.
When you go on a date, the guy should pay.
When you’re on a date and the guy offers to pay, the girl should offer to pay her share (the guy should decline.)
Buying a girl dinner or drinks, doesn’t grant you access into her panties.
Upon dropping a girl off from a date, wait in your truck until she safety gets into her house.
Don’t talk about how much money you make or the kind of truck you drive.
Eat with your mouth closed.
Stop trying to FIND YOURSELF; life in constant growth. #wanderlust = worst hash-tag ever.
Keep your phone out of site when you’re with ANYONE else.
Most guys like sports, let them watch their team play.
Most girls like to shop, let them shop. (Ready for this... let a guy watch his games while a girl shops! OMG x 10)
If you’re upset with someone, tell them. Communication is key and minds cannot be read.
Rule of thumb for guessing a girls age and weight- 10-years under any sort of educated guess, and 25-lbs under your ballpark weight guess.
Those who are confident don’t need to tell anyone about it, you show it. Walk the walk.
It’s better to be 1 for 8, then 0 for 0. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
During coitus, both parties should climax. (Whoopsie).
Plan date nights weekly / bi-weekly with your significant other.
Girls usually take longer to get ready, get over it.
If you ask someone out on a date and they decline, that doesn’t make him or her a douchbag / bitch.
Friends with benefits 99.9% of the time doesn’t work. Someone usually gets too emotionally attached, and your house will end up burnt down.
If someone is upset, pressing the matter will rarely work. It’s like poking an angry mama bear; let the issue settle for a few hours, get some fresh air, and then revisit the conversation with a clear mind.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, the likelihood of you two ever dating again, is extremely low. For that matter, the likelihood of them ever calling or texting you again, is extremely low.
If you want to impress a guy, cook for them.
If you want to impress a girl, cook for them.
Wearing a condom will save you a lot of hassle in the future. Kids and STD’s are expensive, nasty and/or last forever (in no particular order.)
If you stay over at someone’s house and wake up earlier than they do, quietly tip toe into the bathroom/other room. Don’t turn on the light- use your damn cellphone light you selfish bastard.
Oral sex should be reciprocated; I go, you go. OR, do 69.
Being in a relationship DOES NOT define who you are. You will not be happier in a relationship if you’re currently unhappy.
Don’t be a dickhead / hooker and cheat. If you’re unhappy, stop being a coward, end it.
Have more sex, it's fun.
Work / Finances
You should bring at least three copies of a resume to an interview.
You should arrive 30-minutes early for an interview.
You should ask questions at the end of an interview, i.e., How has this position made you a better person?
You shouldn’t eat smelly food in the office (if you’re unsure of your food smelling like dog shit, ask a co-worker, “Frank, does my salmon smell like dog shit?”)
Go to management with action plans, not ideas.
If you have a complaint, feel free to express it if you have a solution.
If you’re sick, don’t go to work.
If you have a question, ask it. Don’t complaining later.
Do not text or browse social media in class.
Keep your phone on silent.
If you start up a new company, you should have 6-months of rent saved up.
If you have a project due, sit down and schedule time throughout the week(s) to properly prepare for the deadline.
If you do not ask, you shall not receive (goes for relationships and kinky sex too!)
Wake up 2-hours before work (if you’re constantly bitching about not having enough time in the day, 2-hours before work will allow you to prepare, exercise, read, and get your mind right.)
Open an IRA (Traditional, Roth or Sep) and set aside the maximal amount ($5,500 or 50k – consult with your CPA.)
If you make 5k a month, don’t spend more than 5k a month or else you’ll accumulate debt.
Watch Office Space. Don’t be this guy…
Or this guy….
Don’t be a dickhead.
SHOW UP OR SHUT UP!
To summarize common sense:
Don’t be selfish. Hold and open doors for people. Reciprocity works wonders. Stop obsessing over social media acceptance and text messages. Read a damn book. Ask other people questions. Offer to pay your share and say please. Stop talking about your shitty life - you’re 100% accountable for everything. SHOW UP, WORK HARD, Smile, say Thank You and maintain a Positive F&^%$#@ Mindset.
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