Pop-Quiz, Hot Shot. Are You a Tool or Toolette?

YOU’RE A TOOL IF…
1. You’re a tool if you have bought a workout shirt and cut the sleeves off!
2.  You’re a tool if you walk around the gym puffing out your chest showing off your ILS aka Invisible Lat Syndrome.
3. You’re a tool if you walk up to any girl and say “hey girl, you’re doing that exercise wrong, let me show you a better one.”
4.  You’re a tool if you spend more time creepily eye-gawking women, rather than working out (unless you’re me because I swear I do it to analyze workouts- most of the time!)
5. You’re a tool if you lift up your shirt and check out your abs in the mirror (only if caught).
6. You’re a tool if you put your water bottle/towel to save a bench while you are on another machine.
7. You’re a tool if you grunt with 10 plates on the leg press machine; SQUAT YOU WHIMP!
8. You’re a tool if you wear cologne to the gym.
9.  You’re a tool if you count out loud how many reps you’ve done.
10. You’re a tool if you put more weight on the barbell just because a girl is within eye-sight.

Well how did you do?
0-5 You’re the Screech of Tools (Saved By The Bell Screech, not PORNO Screech)
6-7 Semi-Toolish, think Johnny from Karate Kid
7-8 You probably own a few Affliction t-shirts
8-9 You have applied for Jersey Shore
10 King Tool!!! You probably have a nick-name like Laser and have dumb hand shakes

6 for me, I guess I need to learn how to SWEEP THE LEG!!!

YOU’RE A TOOLETTE IF…
1.  You’re a Toolette if you talk on your phone while doing cardio, SHUT UP AND WORKOUT!
2.  You’re a Toolette if you wear “Pink or Juicy” on your tail end.
3.  You’re a Toolette if you tell other girls that using weights will make you bulky.
4.  You’re a Toolette if you sing/dance seductively when you WALK on the treadmill.
5. You’re a Toolette if you watch your iPod on the Abductor / Adductor Machines (I’ve seen it!)
6. You’re a Toolette if you wear perfume to the gym.
7. You’re a Toolette if you fish for compliments by lifting up your shirt and say “I’m fat”.
8. You’re a Toolette if you TEXT while you work out.  Leave your phone in the car, you’re not that important!
9. You’re a Toolette if you perfectly color coordinate your gym outfit from your shoes, to your hair band.
10. You’re a Tollette if you wear a sports bra and your boobs are all over the place (not saying that’s a bad thing!)

Well how did you do?
0-5 You’re a square
6-7 Semi-Toolette, think if Paris Hilton were to have a semi-normal younger sister
7-8 You own a small dog and carry it around in one of those dumb dog bags
8-9 You have applied for Jersey Shore and own a pair of ridicules large glasses
10 Queen Toolette!!! You probably have a license plate that says “PRINCESS”

It’s all in fun; don’t let my sarcasm get your panties in a bundle – male or female!  Keep laughing, read good books, practice random acts of kindness and SHAKE AND BAKE!