Hey Ya’all, miss me? Well, I sure as hell missed blogging! Just an FYI. I’m BACK and will be dedicating time every week to get back into the solid blogging routine. I took a little hiatus this past year and focused primarily on contributing to Stack.com, and the expansion for Show Up Fitness. I’ve had some amazing guest bloggers in fellow students – Leah Hardesty and Andrew Losik. Thanks for the awesome additions guys! I am always open to guest writers if you’re looking to grease those writing wheels up. You can contact me firstname.lastname@example.org.
With the recent expansion into Southern California, my time has been devoted to teaching 45+ hours a week, trying to secure a location for Show Up Fitness, and exploring happy hours in Santa Monica. Some things that I’ve learned in the past three months:
1. Rent is expensive. My 1 bedroom apartment is 3x more expensive then what I had in Walnut Creek. I am within walking distance to the beach and wouldn’t trade it for the world. If you’ve never lived by the beach, it’s truly magical! Additionally, we’re in the process of securing our first Show Up Fitness location on 4th street. Rent is only $4-6 per/sq foot- INSANE! I expect to be fully broke by year’s end, but I’ll have a smile on my face and an amazing tan.
2. Traffic isn’t bad; it’s ludicrous! What’s the best way to avoid it? Don’t drive. I’ve driven less than 10x since I’ve been down here, three of which have been to pick up family members at the airport. I’m truly blessed with my living situation, and thank God that I don’t have to commute. I can walk to work; daily I’m walking over 5 miles. I contribute my 8 lbs of weight loss to this increase in activity level. If you’re trying to lose “stubborn belly fat,” I challenge you to walk more. Remember, walking isn’t exercise, it’s a necessity. Our fat ass nation just doesn’t walk anymore- it’s pathetic; like traffic!
3. There’s a special energy. Not a fan of the hippie dippie spiritual stuff, or witch craft, but there is a special energy down here and I can’t put my Texas sized thumb on it. I’m not sure if it’s the way of life and/or a fitness orientated mindset? Santa Monica is just super rich? Whatever it may be, I freaking love the positive energy that exudes down here!
4. It’s not called SoCal! I’ve recently learned that only people in Northern California refer to Southern California as SoCal. If you want to stick out as a tourist, refer to this area as SoCal.
5. Drinks are expensive. $9 beers are complete and utter bullshit! I miss my $5 pitchers at Chico State. I’ve learned to find the best happy hours, that’s for damn sure.
6. Celebrities and Athletes are everywhere. I’ve notched 9 so far: 1. Alyson Hannigan (American Pie) 2. Vince Vaughn 3. Arnold Schwarzenegger 4. Ralf Moeller (Arnies buddy who played big ass white dude in Gladiator) 5. James Madio, (one of my favorites, guy in Band of Brothers and when I walked by him, he was getting lambaseted by his wife for somethingEven celebrities get yelled at!) 6. Brady Quinn (backup QB in NFL), 7. Carlos Boozer (NBA PF) 8. Small forward in NBA whose name I probably shouldn’t disclose because I just found out that he is married. I rode down in the elevator at 130 am after he knocked boots with one of the girls in my apartment complex- OHH LA!!! 9. The man in the mirror / reflective windows. Unfortunately, every time I look back, he’s disappeared!!
7. Girls AND guys are SKINNY! I was warned that the “LA look” is different, but it truly is. You’ll find stupid fedora hats* and expensive clothes wherever you go, but aesthetically, women want to be super skinny aka skinny fat, while guys want to be ripped.
*Everyone in LA owns a stupid hat- Great quote from a student at NPTI Santa Monica.
I need to address number seven. The women in LA are too damn skinny and the guys aren’t too far behind. I’m anxiously waiting for the day when the fitness look is fashionable – women will have muscles and defined shoulders, while men will be rocking broad shoulders and developed legs. I’ve been on a mission to bulk up to 200+ lbs (currently at 194); because the trend in LA is for guys to be skinny and ripped, which is translated in my eyes as too damn skinny. I’ll never understand the urge to be “ripped” without any size; it’s too effeminate for me. A man is someone who can get dirty, lift heavy things, and get ready to go out in 5 minutes. I understand guys want that six-pack, but you can achieve that while having meat on your bones. I’m sorry LA, but Skinny Jeans and wanting to be ripped just isn’t in the DNA imprint of a man. Call me old fashion, but a woman doesn’t want a guy who is more into looks than she is. For this reason, let me lay out the perfect diet to add some size to that delicate frame of yours:
The Man Up Diet:
Breakfast: Over 1000 calories and over 60g of protein
1-2 cups of Oatmeal
2-4 eggs (if you throw the yolk out, you’re not a man)
½ cup of trail mix (use the kind with Hershey kisses to add flavor)
2 tbsp of flax seed
1 scoop of vanilla protein powder
Lunch: All of your vegetable servings in 1 day and over 60g of protein
Chicken Stir Fry
1 cup of brussel sprouts
1 cup of cauliflower
1 garlic clove
2 chicken breasts
Workout like a man! Do 5 sets in a pyramid set fashion, i.e., set 1: 12 reps, set 2: 8 reps, set 3: 5 reps, set 4: 8 reps, set 5: 12 reps. You workouts need to be split and consist of: squats, dead lifts, hip thrusts, bench press, pull-ups, bent over rows, push-ups, pike push-ups, and military press. (How I feel in LA…..)
After workout meal: over 100g of carbs and 40g of protein
4 fresh squeezed orange juice
1 fresh squeezed grapefruit
2 tbsp of farmers’ market honey
2 scoops of vanilla protein
Be careful that you do not consume this drink in public. I guarantee you that it will remind you of an Orange Julius and probably give you a semi- you’ve been warned!
Steak, potatoes or yams and eggs
Seriously, you’re not a man if you’re not eating steak, potatoes, and eggs at least once a week!
“MEN” of LA, here is my challenge to you. Go to the doctor and get your low-ass Testosterone levels checked. Implement this plan, along with 2 days of HIIT, sprints on the beach, stairs or track workouts, sleeping 8 hours a night, limiting your excessive boozing to 1-2 days a week, and stop drinking soy- soy grows man boobs. Go back to the doctor and get your levels rechecked after 3 months and see what happens.
I love “SOCAL;” the people and energy are amazing! They’re so many opportunities to make something of yourself. Here are my predictions by year’s end.
1. Show Up Fitness will redefine the personal training industry and be a force to be reckoned with throughout California.
2. The Man Up Diet will increase the manlihood of 38% of men throughout CA.
3. I’ll begin to write for a major publication
4. Show Up Fitness Santa Monica will have 3 full time trainers (currently 0)- pending documents for our own location as we speak!!!!!
5. Show Up Fitness will donate over 5k
6. Texas will smash UCLA 38-17!!!
7. A’s will go to the World Series
8. I will be on a TV show….