Word Count: 801, Time to Read: 3-5 minutes, Vulgarity: 6/10, Tough Love: 8.5/10 aka if you’re a delicate little princess or LA dude (arguably the same), you might want to skip this one.
Stop looking for the nasty “F” word in the gym or in workouts- FUN; BOSU ball jump YAAAAAA! The reason you’re “bored” with exercise is because you’re not seeing results. Do you ever wonder why spin, running, Barre, Yoga, Pilates, and all those 30-minute cardio / group training classes aren’t working? IT’S BECAUSE THEY SUCK! Don’t blame it on your nutrition, these kinds of workouts blow. “But Chris, Jessica the instructor is in great shape (add in a hair flip into the wind).” If you want to spend endless hours taking cardio classes and eating peas, carrots, and tilapia for the rest of your life, have at it. Remember what insanity is? Doing the same shit over and over again and expecting different results. Honestly, what’s different about this year compared to your last? Let us educate you on how to train SMARTER and not HARDER.
Would you rather look amazing naked, or have fun working out? No sane person would EVER say I want to have fun- RAW RAW RAW! If you want to be in spectacular shape, it takes hard work and there’s definitely no short cuts. Think of it like this: do you gain 10+ pounds from eating poorly for one day? I don’t care who you are, the answer is NO. The same holds true for the opposite reaction. It took you months, if not years, to accumulate all that fat baggage around your hips, abs, and face- it’s going to take the same to reverse it. My challenge to you in 2016 is to find fun in other places: the bedroom, building sandcastles, chasing imaginary dragons, day-drinking (remember gremlins come out after 12 am), WHATEVER tickles your fancy! Gyms, or, at least, Show Up Fitness, were designed to build bodies. Our clients Show Up, kick-ass, Show Up again, and get results. We teach our clients to have “fun” by learning how to lift heavier and set PR’s (personal records). You’ll laugh at my corny jokes (what kind of Bee makes honey? BOOB-BEE), but most importantly, you’ll LOVE the new you.
NO MORE SHORTCUTS
In my ten plus years as a strength coach, guess what female clients hate the most? Men- KIDDING, Pull-Ups. And what about males? Asexual women- KIDDING, Squats. Why do you think this is? These exercises are fucking hard! Once upon a time, our bodies use to be bad-ass machines that were taxed daily. Now, we’ve turned them into pathetic, fat piles of poo-poo. Who’d like a billion dollars to shake my hand (with a pinky finger near my mouth Dr. Evil style)? Y’all heard the slogan before, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Why do Americans continue to fall for the same old shit? The newsstands are currently flooded with idiotic headlines that people buy into, “Get into the best shape of your life with this 19 minute workout”, “Lose ten pounds in 7 days with these 5 moves”, “Actor Prince Fartface gained 25lbs of pure muscle with this program”, and “Detox and cleanse your body in 10 days”. False, hogwash, sheep shit, and more shit. I’d consider myself in damn good shape. I lift weights, at least, six times a week, and do a total of 10-14 workouts a week. Monday through Friday my diet consists of 250g of protein, moderate-to-high fat, and low carbs (vegetables, and some nuts.) If you want to get into the best shape of your life, you need to BEGIN by changing your habits, adapt a positive fucking mindset and start Winning the Week. Anything less, and you’re setting yourself up for failure. PLEASE, DON’T TRY FOLLOWING WHAT I EAT. IT WORKS FOR MY BODY AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. SCHEDULE AN ASSESSMENT TO CONSULT WITH US FOR FREE TO LEARN WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR BODY. CHRIS@SHOWUPFITNESS.COM
Here’s your workout strategy for 2016:
Mix and match 4 workouts that best suit your schedule: WINNING THE WEEK
#1-Show Up Fitness Bootycamp class
#2- Show Up Fitness 1-1 Private Personal Training session
#3- Santa Monica Stairs
#4- Full Body workout: Squats, Bench Press, Pull-Ups, Military Press, Bicep Curls and Tricep extensions- 3 sets of 10-15 reps resting 1-2 minutes between sets
#5- Upper Body Workout: Bench Press, Lat Pull-downs, Military Press, Push-Ups, Bent-over Rows, Lateral Raises, Bicep Curls, Tricep Extensions – 3 sets of 10-15 reps resting 1-2 minutes between sets
#6- Lower Body Workout: Hip Thrusts, Lunges, Leg Curls, Body Weight Squats (25 reps)- 3 sets of 10-15 reps resting 1-2 minutes between sets
#7- HIIT at a track. 8 x 40yrd, 4 x 100yrd, 2 x 200yrd, 1 x 400 yard.
You can continue to take all of those flashy classes on classpass, or at your local gym, but don’t count them towards the four workouts. Those can continue to be your “fun” workouts if you’d like. Ideally, you want to use resistance on your muscles a MINIMUM 2x per week. Doing 4 workouts of #3, or #7 would not suffice. OPTIMAL RESULTS = RESISTANCE TRAINING 4X WITH 1-2X OF STAIRS / HIIT.
2016 is the year to SHOW UP OR SHUT UP.