A Starbucks barista greets her early morning customer, “Hey Paul, the usual?” Paul, in his business suit with his beer gut (great country song FYI) hanging over his pants, responds, “Yes ma’am.” Paul’s regular includes 1 Venti Soy vanilla late with extra whip and a blue berry scone. I hastily compile the numbers and come up with a whopping fat pie of 830kcals (370kcals from the latte and 460kcals from the scone). Holy CRAP! This guy is the perfect recipe for a quadruple bypass! The question I have is why the hell is he ordering soy? Soy is OK for someone who has lactate intolerance. However, especially for a male, it can produce excess estrogen and Heaven forbid, MAN BOOBS! Now I remember where I saw this archetypical Greek God Paul before; he was the body double for Jaba the Hut in Star Wars! My goal today is to teach you how not to be like Paul and choose the right meals/drinks on the go and stay away from the evil path of temptation.. Quack, Quack, Quack – your alarm clock goes off (is it just me that has a duck call as my alarm clock?) Morning routine 101: You slide into your comfy cozies and walk over to turn the shower on. After you yawn 5 times and contemplate about calling in sick, the water is finally warm. Then you walk past the mirror quickly because you are afraid of the image that it portrays. You quickly get dressed and your 30 minutes of mundane solidarity is over. “MOM/DAD, I’m hungry!!!!” Sibling bickering begins; parents feel stressed and wish they all were gone! Breakfast is finally completed and the kids are ushered out the door in time for their ride to school. Oh Poop, now you are running late, so you grab your keys and head out the door. The morning adrenaline rush hits its apex with morning traffic, but you luckily have 5 minutes to run into Starbucks and grab something quick and easy to make it to work on time. Sound familiar? The real question is what will you choose at Starbucks or your local coffee shop? WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE?
What to drink:
Option#1: PURE BLACK COFFEE OR 1 SHOT OF EXPRESSO (5 kcals) Be a true cowboy like me and saddle up HOSS – no cream or sugar.
Option#2: Venti Iced Coffee (130KCALS with classic syrup; this has more Caffeine than regular coffee)
Option #3: Grande 2% Vanilla Café Latte (250kcals. Be careful of fat free and soy. Fat Free has been man modified so it is harder for our bodies to naturally break it down – stick to the most natural form of all foods)
Option #4: Tall Café Mocha with whip (260kcals, you can save 60kcals to hold the whip, but it definitely tastes better with this white wonder!)
What to eat:
Option #1: Banana (90kcals) + ADD NUT VARIETY
Option #2: Reduced-Fat Turkey Bacon Egg white (340kcals,hold the cheese for less kcals)
Option #3: Perfect Oatmeal (390 kcals with nuts, brown sugar and dried fruit)
Option #4: IF YOU HAVE A SWEET TOOTH… Bday Cake Mini Doughnut (1= 130kcals + less kcals than petite scone which was a close second)
Be careful of too much coffee. Here’s a caveat FYI! The APA (American Psychiatric Association) publishes a manual entitled, The DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual, 4th Treatment Revision) which considers 2-3 cups of coffee the amount necessary for a diagnosis of Caffeine Intoxication – How do you like them apples! Drinking a lot of this stimulant can cause an elevation of Cortisol. This is the stress hormone that breaks down tissue (catabolic) – caffeine is a stimulant; you are not gaining any actual energy, which is why it’s a drug. Dehydration and anxiety may be a side effect due to the increase in sensitivity and lack of hydration. Like anything, our body adapts, so it’s a good idea to cycle on and off to detox your system so it can respond normally again.
HOW TO WEAN YOURSELF FROM COFFEE:
Begin by downgrading from a venti to a grande, then a tall. After that, switch to a half caf (half regular and half decaffeinated); this may take a whole week. You may experience light headaches, but that’s normal, since you’ve exposed yourself to a stimulant for years without a break! After a week to 10 days of no caffeine (this means no soda or energy drinks), feel free to start drinking it again, but SLOWLY. The effects may be heightened due to the fact you have detoxed your system – slow and steady is the pace. Also, try some whitening strips because your teeth probably look like you were making out with a chocolate cake; they say the chicas are attracted to good hygiene, Whiten Up Romeo!!!
Just so we are clear, I am a MAJOR advocate of coffee. It has numerous benefits. One recent study found that caffeine (equal to 2 cups of brewed coffee) could produce a large reduction in pain resulting from DOMS – delayed onset muscle soreness. DOMS aka why you are soooo sore after you train with us here at Show up Fitness. As always, monitor your portions, play air guitar to some great 80’s music, keep smiling, shower (so you don’t stink) and SHAKE AND BAKE!!!!!